Losing Track v.2 - was On Fear

[dukealien]

Edited; title change


Losing Track


As I drove west, alone, one black-skied night,
Conditionally wakeful, coffee-fueled,
My speed was seventy, old darkness ruled;
Headlit, three painted traces flickered white.

Lines marked the road’s rough edges, reflex-jeweled,
And passing-dashes pulsed out centrally,
Like years or heartbeats, unreliably.
Each guide-mark quenched when tar or shadows pooled.

One reference track, or two, blanked frequently -
If all, I knew I’d have no chance to stop,
But run mad off the road at speed and drop,
Ditch-tripping, rolling, crashing fatally.

    So fear of falling’s not the final curse:
    Sustained, gut-loosening, locked-in dread was worse.


original version;

On Fear


As I drove home one starless, moonless night,
I met the fear of all fears, and was schooled.
My speed was seventy, old darkness ruled;
Within it, three faint traces flickered white.

Lines marked the road’s two edges, reflex-jeweled,
And passing-dashes pulsed out centrally,
Like years or heartbeats, unreliably,
Each guide-mark quenched when tar or shadows pooled.

One trace, or two, blanked periodically -
If three, I feared I couldn’t see or stop,
But hurtle off the road at speed and drop,
Ditch-tumbling, catastrophically.

    So fear of falling’s not the final curse:
    Sustained, anticipating dread is worse.

Theme changed from lecture to narrative.  In several minds about l.10 - wouldn't stop, or couldn't?  Was not feeling suicidal, just wired (IIRC), but not sworn to be an honest witness.  Thanks again for critques past and future.