Plunge

[Jezie]

I read through the original, and both edits, and I think your changes are beautiful!
My only critique is grammatical, and that might be because of everything I am studying in school.
For the first stanza hasa bit of an issue, but it is a simple fix!
"A cool breeze caresses her back,"  I would make this one sentence.  Just put a period at the end!  Even though it may seem small, its simplicity is elegant nonetheless.  Then you Just capitalize "dawn".  Finally, "Reminding her of decisions...", that sentence is a fragment, so I would simply reword it to "It Reminds her of decisions..."

That would simply change it to:
She stands, all but bare,
her backyard and pool her sanctuary.
A cool breeze caresses her back.
Dawn's warmth peeks over the fence,
watching the ripples cross the surface. 
It reminds her of decisions gone by,
much like the one ahead. 

Lastly, just place a period after "strains" in the second stanza!
Other than that, your poem is beautiful!
You displayed conflict in the piece that I, as a reader, can relate to.  It reminded me of a time when I was in a similar position.

I feel like I am going in the wrong direction with these edits and it is becoming a mess...  

Edit 2:

She stands, all but bare,
her backyard and pool her sanctuary.
A cool breeze caresses her back,
dawn's warmth peeks over the fence,
watching the ripples cross the surface.  
Reminding her of decisions gone by,
much like the one ahead.  

The plunge would be icy,
the discomforts of a hard change,
until the burn of exhaustion eases the strains,
Yet, the cost may be worth the satisfaction;
if only she is willing to deceive.



Edit 1:

She stands, all but bare,
watching the ripples across the surface.  
A cool breeze caresses her back,
while the sun's warmth peeks over the fence.  
Reminding her of decisions gone by,
much like the one ahead.  

The plunge would be icy,
until the burn of exhaustion runs rampant through her.
The cost may be worth the satisfaction received.
Can she take the plunge?

Orginal:

She stands, all but bare.
Watching the ripples across the surface.  
A cool breeze caresses her back,
while the sun's warmth peeks over the fence.  
Reminding her of decisions gone by,
much like the one ahead of her.  

The plunge is icy,
the burn of exhaustion runs rampant through her.
Yet, the cost may be worth the satisfaction received.
Can she take the plunge?

Thank you for the feedback, going the extra bit and showing how your suggestions would look was a really nice addition. Some of the changes I agree with and have something similar in the works I hope you like it. While you point out about my 5th line is a fragment, I believe it does work better as it stands. However, if it does not I hope you and anyone else will helpfully ding me for being wrong

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I really liked this, short, sweet, but complex. You did a great job of giving it that double meaning. The symbolism of jumping into an icy cold pool and jumping into a troubling situation in life. I like how you imply that it can be worth it if you can deceive yourself, because in reality the biggest threat to holding a person back is themselves.

Thank you for your feedback, I am glad you really liked this. It has been a hassle so to learn it is enjoyed is well worth the headache Hope you like the edits.