Losing Track v.2 - was On Fear

[Genuinebloke]

On Fear


As I drove home one starless, moonless night, Starless and moonless are different things, yet they feel redundant here
I met the fear of all fears, and was schooled. Fear of all fears feels cliched
My speed was seventy, old darkness ruled; Old darkness ruled is a nice line and would have more gravitas if the preceding lines were more subtle
Within it, three faint traces flickered white.

Lines marked the road’s two edges, reflex-jeweled,
And passing-dashes pulsed out centrally, Is there a metaphor at play in these lines? It feels possible but ultimately comes across as a literal description
Like years or heartbeats, unreliably,
Each guide-mark quenched when tar or shadows pooled. When read altogether, this does not work as a single sentence, which is what the punctuation suggests it should be. In particular, "each guide-mark..." does not follow "unreliably,".

One trace, or two, blanked periodically - Are the traces road markings, blips on a hospital heart monitor, or both? I think it could be both but am not sure.
If three, I feared I couldn’t see or stop,
But hurtle off the road at speed and drop, I think the rhyme here detracts from the drama of the crash.
Ditch-tumbling, catastrophically. Pedantic maybe, but is ditch-tumbling catastrophic? I know people die in such crashes and clearly you have had an experience yourself. However, from a storytelling viewpoint I would be expecting catastrophic to pair with something such as "tree-smashing", "overturning", "body crumpling" or some-such. 

    So fear of falling’s not the final curse: 
    Sustained, anticipating dread is worse. Why indented? It feels like the rhyme has dictated the choice of curse and worse, rather than the poem's need.

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Typical of recent work, but this one lacks hoped-for intensity befitting the theme.  Why?  Robust criticism will be appreciated.

Hi.
The line at the bottom mentions of the lack of intensity. For me, this is because the poem is not about fear - nor does it allude to fear sufficiently. As I read it, this is simply a poem about a driving at night, with an unfortunate end. Consequently, the title sets it up to be an anti-climax. My suggestions would be either: a) incorporate a greater element of fear throughout (easy suggestion I know, less easy to implement), or b) lower the expectations by changing the title and making the fear a sub-plot rather than the main event. 
Hope this helps!