11-14-2015, 10:20 AM
I really like this poem so far. I think that the detached point of view really suits the topic and poem very nicely. However, the entirety of the poem is very vague. It could use more detail to allow the reader to feel more emotion. A poem like this could really evoke a lot of emotion, as Alzheimer's disease is tragic. Maybe create a dynamic where you reveal some of the feelings of the family but also those of the patient. That could give you an opportunity for more details and help put more emotion into the poem.