11-04-2015, 04:11 AM
Your work has come a long way. I really like to see the dynamic that is this poem over the course of your revisions. You've done well to condense it and purify your feelings and purpose thoroughly. The only thing that sticks out to me would be the repitition of the term "an atheist" in lines 11 and 12. Consider including this only once to not seem redundant. Also, you could replace the use of the word "without" with "zero" to fit your numerical theme, but I would understand if you would rather keep "without", it works pretty well.
Consider:
"Now though, an atheist.
With zero friends,
With zero admirers,
and one abortion"
Consider:
"Now though, an atheist.
With zero friends,
With zero admirers,
and one abortion"