10-29-2015, 07:24 AM
Hey! I liked how clearly this poem was written. I loved the first two lines; they start the poem with a nice flow. It was artistic without throwing me into an interpretive whirlwind of confusion, haha. Though I did kind of like the winding down of syllables from top to bottom, I found the third line to be cumbersome compared to the rest. In the sixth line, I think it would flow a little better if the "only ever" was reduced to just "only." Also, when it comes to lines 11-13, I think the line "Only because I am not..." is not the best way you can describe what the speaker is feeling compared to what comes directly before and directly after.