10-28-2015, 12:38 AM
I appreciate the sense of narrative that comes with this poem, and overall I enjoyed reading this. The rhyming is generally good, but at times I felt it a little bit forced with the rhythm slightly broken:
Examples:
I looked all around me, and I listened a little too.
It was so quiet and stoic – you could only hear you!
...
I heard a noise above me, and I dared to open my eyes;
Is it possible this statue could hear my inner cries?
Examples:
I looked all around me, and I listened a little too.
It was so quiet and stoic – you could only hear you!
...
I heard a noise above me, and I dared to open my eyes;
Is it possible this statue could hear my inner cries?