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A Hen Lays
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10-15-2015, 06:01 AM
(10-14-2015, 10:38 PM)justlikeyou Wrote: in autumn air I'm just not getting the association between the rifle shot and the egg. Even if an egg cracks while being laid, there's no sound. The word 'labored' jars here too. Not sure why - maybe because an adjective feels out of place. Two different scenes, but I'm just not connecting them. |
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A Hen Lays - by justlikeyou - 10-14-2015, 10:38 PM
RE: A Hen Lays - by just mercedes - 10-15-2015, 06:01 AM
RE: A Hen Lays - by justlikeyou - 10-15-2015, 06:55 AM
RE: A Hen Lays - by tectak - 10-15-2015, 07:37 AM
RE: A Hen Lays - by justlikeyou - 10-15-2015, 08:57 AM
RE: A Hen Lays - by John - 10-15-2015, 04:03 PM
RE: A Hen Lays - by tectak - 10-15-2015, 04:56 PM
RE: A Hen Lays - by justlikeyou - 10-15-2015, 10:14 PM
RE: A Hen Lays - by tectak - 10-16-2015, 04:42 PM
RE: A Hen Lays - by just mercedes - 10-15-2015, 07:05 AM
RE: A Hen Lays - by justlikeyou - 10-15-2015, 07:25 AM
RE: A Hen Lays - by billy - 10-16-2015, 06:15 PM
RE: A Hen Lays - by justlikeyou - 10-16-2015, 09:58 PM
RE: A Hen Lays - by RiverNotch - 10-17-2015, 12:01 AM
RE: A Hen Lays - by justlikeyou - 10-17-2015, 04:20 AM
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