10-13-2015, 11:57 PM
Neat stuff. Brief thought -- I'l probably get back to all this later -- I do think the line breaks of the last stanza are a bit awkward. I would just post the sentences as straight up lines, until the last, and perhaps rearrange the sentences, too. So:
"Why do I wake up sweating?
Why have I had this dream again?
Why have I never cried
since you died?"
But of course, I'm much less sure about the rearrangement.
"Why do I wake up sweating?
Why have I had this dream again?
Why have I never cried
since you died?"
But of course, I'm much less sure about the rearrangement.