Come To Me My Lovely

[QDeathstar]

Hey guys this is one of my first attempts at a poem and I'd love any feedback remarks you guys have!

Come to me my lovely.
Come let me fall into the grave with you;
Let me find peace in your being.
My heart is of distress;
My heart is torn by the rigors of life.  This stanza is boring and cliche, fall into the grave isn't a unique enough image to salvage an excuse for this stanza. Cut it.

Blessed is the one who is pure in the light
Whose soul is sweeter than the most delicate of honey.
Hold fast from the one that lurks in the shadow;
Do not walk blindly to which that consumes you,  this is a vastly superior stanza, why not start here...
For there you will find her snare.

How can one hold fast when you are far gone?
How can one hold fast where it consumes my soul?
I tell you not, my heart cannot bide fully in both.
The slightest of entices and I run.
But to whom shall I run?  another weak stanza... "how can one when you" places the speaker outside the poem then he crashes back into it in the last three lines... also, why the switch to awkward phrasing all of a sudden, eg, whom shall... a little fancy, don't you think?

To you my lovely, filler, we get it, you said it already
A beauty beyond the surface of the sea; cliche, I've read this before
A complexity as deep as the ocean.
My soul leads me to your shore;
My heart finds me by your wayside.

But to you,
A beauty as blinding as gold shimmering from the sun.
A complexity intertwined with the metal of my own. wat?
With you I find the passion I crave.
With you I find the life I left behind.

To feel trapped by your heart,
But free from your touch.
I walk where I choose freely,
But fear to venture beyond your path.
A view beautiful beyond the horizon.

A ravage of fire and wind consumes my soul.
Burning that which cannot be burned.
Chasing that which cannot be chased.
I fear the one who lurks in the shadow.
Yet I realize now it was I the entire time. you what the entire time?

there are several good lines in here, and one, imo, complete stanza... keep editing.[/b]