10-07-2015, 01:20 PM
Hey wow, that was really good, you managed to express a very vulnerable part of yourself without being cliche... and it had such a natural flow... I loved being able to get the message without feeling overwhelmed; It wasn't unnecessarily dramatic, and came off as incredibly genuine. I think that's a really tough thing for a lot of people to do, including myself.
The first half of the poem is my absolute favorite.
"I long for that longing.
The night’s coldness creeps into me,
The farthest reaches of my body,
And I wish I had someone to wish for.
Someone to ache for.
Someone to bring back the warmth in my fingertips,
Toes,
The tip of my nose.
The lack of hurting hurts,
Despising the emptiness of my bed
Would at least mean it was once full.
The lack of a feeling makes me feel more."
I feel like I can relate to all of that on a very intimate, human level... which I believe is the one of the most impressive victories a poet could ever hope to achieve.
Very well done, thank you for sharing it.
The first half of the poem is my absolute favorite.
"I long for that longing.
The night’s coldness creeps into me,
The farthest reaches of my body,
And I wish I had someone to wish for.
Someone to ache for.
Someone to bring back the warmth in my fingertips,
Toes,
The tip of my nose.
The lack of hurting hurts,
Despising the emptiness of my bed
Would at least mean it was once full.
The lack of a feeling makes me feel more."
I feel like I can relate to all of that on a very intimate, human level... which I believe is the one of the most impressive victories a poet could ever hope to achieve.
Very well done, thank you for sharing it.