10-02-2015, 08:39 AM
I think it easily depicts the childlike paintings of van Goghs feeling. And none of the complicated mindtorture stuff meshed in with it. Poetry, writing, is easy compared to painting. Any 10 year old raised on laptop could have written this poem, when rhyme is the theme. Any talented painter could have written this poem between better-madework than van Goghs. And van Goghs letters are better than this. If you can't write better than a painter who paints like a child who can paint better than an expert painter, there's something wrong. The rhymes have that van Gogh recklessness, but none of the van Gogh-like charm and spirit. None of the dizzying autismo yellow in your dull yellow ''approach''. And since you're a poet poeting and not trying to mimic van Gogh, all there was to say is that your rhymes are cheap and too easy. But not bad. There's some haunting balance you could keep that you haven't, but I don't know, something you can work with.