Elevator to the Moon

Elevator to the Moon

rowens Offline

Andy Kaufman

Posts: 462
Threads: 384
Joined: Sep 2014

09-30-2015, 06:30 AM

The first four lines of the first stanza, the first five of the second, the first four of the third come off better than the rest. Maybe cut or add something. The fifth line of the first stanza works well too if connected with something better.

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Messages In This Thread

Elevator to the Moon - by Weeded - 09-29-2015, 11:18 PM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by rowens - 09-30-2015, 06:30 AM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by Weeded - 09-30-2015, 08:38 AM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by milo - 09-30-2015, 09:51 AM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by Weeded - 09-30-2015, 10:06 AM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by skadragon - 09-30-2015, 03:00 PM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by Weeded - 09-30-2015, 08:41 PM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by Noydian Slip - 10-01-2015, 02:49 PM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by Weeded - 10-02-2015, 01:07 PM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by elviaje26 - 10-02-2015, 01:11 PM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by Weeded - 10-03-2015, 04:12 AM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by Noydian Slip - 10-03-2015, 02:24 PM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by Weeded - 10-04-2015, 08:06 AM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by ZacharyTwedell - 10-05-2015, 01:14 AM

RE: Elevator to the Moon - by Weeded - 10-05-2015, 05:56 PM

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