Supermoon and Mars
#4
(09-29-2015, 02:03 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  Supermoon and Mars
 
Between the Supermoon and Mars
there is no breath or rosy hue.
There is no life. There are no stars
 
to heal the heinous human scars,
however hard we wish it true.
Between the Supermoon and Mars               
 
the conscience vacillates and spars
with God— when we’ve achieved the coup
there is no life. There are no stars
 
that twinkle in exhibit jars
or birth themselves by some hoodoo
between the Supermoon and Mars.
 
And daddies don’t pass out cigars
to celebrate a salty stew.
There is no life, there are no stars
 
to light the way that hubris bars,
or propagate the me in you.
Between the Supermoon and Mars
there is no life. There are no stars.
Hi tiger,
Yes to this...where has it been?
The tightness of the three line run can cause problems of the differing continuity which the content tends to force, BUT as far as it goes it goes extremely well.
I take not a lot from the "salty stew" but am man enough to admit that the wordiness works even if it seems that a complete breakdown of simplicity has occurred. I'm not going to ponder on it....that may be good or may be bad but it is contagious in that "to light the way that hubris bars" affects me similarly.
I hoped not to ask for an explanation. Can you explain?
Best,
tectak
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Messages In This Thread
Supermoon and Mars - by Tiger the Lion - 09-29-2015, 02:03 PM
RE: Supermoon and Mars - by just mercedes - 09-29-2015, 04:25 PM
RE: Supermoon and Mars - by ellajam - 09-29-2015, 09:28 PM
RE: Supermoon and Mars - by tectak - 09-29-2015, 09:39 PM
RE: Supermoon and Mars - by Tiger the Lion - 09-30-2015, 12:13 AM
RE: Supermoon and Mars - by ellajam - 09-30-2015, 12:43 AM
RE: Supermoon and Mars - by CRNDLSM - 09-13-2016, 03:51 AM



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