Supermoon and Mars

[ellajam]

Supermoon and Mars
 
Between the Supermoon and Mars
there is no breath or rosy hue.
There is no life. There are no stars
 
to heal the heinous human scars,
however hard we wish it true.
Between the Supermoon and Mars               
 
the conscience vacillates and spars
with God— when we’ve achieved the coup
there is no life. There are no stars
 
that twinkle in exhibit jars
or birth themselves by some hoodoo
between the Supermoon and Mars.
 
And daddies don’t pass out cigars
to celebrate a salty stew.
There is no life, there are no stars
 
to light the way that hubris bars,
or propagate the me in you.
Between the Supermoon and Mars
there is no life. There are no stars.

Lovely and well done. I especially like exhibit jars and hoodoo. The only line that stopped me was salty stew. I've come to oral or conception-blocked sex, I'm on the fence there. I like the line but it sort of stands out as less clear than the rest of the piece. For others that are not quite as slow it may be perfect.

Thanks for posting it, maybe someone with have some more useful critique for you, it seems pretty perfect to me.