09-27-2015, 02:24 PM
I like the arc of the narrator's journey- so sure of his/her own goodness, but seemingly being assaulted by the underlying evils inside of him/her.
I do think that the part before the "bad stuff" starts popping up might go on too long. It begins feeling very repetitive- not much gets added after the first stanza, until "killers" appear. Maybe you could condense several stanzas into one or two- make the "kick" of the poem stand out more.
I do think that the part before the "bad stuff" starts popping up might go on too long. It begins feeling very repetitive- not much gets added after the first stanza, until "killers" appear. Maybe you could condense several stanzas into one or two- make the "kick" of the poem stand out more.