09-27-2015, 02:07 PM
I really like this poem, especially the line "Sometimes I feel." on its own.
In the line: "somewhere between happy-- or maybe just dumb"
I feel like, since you wouldn't say between this OR that, instead this AND that, that might be a change to make it flow better? You could also move the -- and make it:
"somewhere between happy and-- maybe just dumb"
Just some ideas, hope they're helpful!
In the line: "somewhere between happy-- or maybe just dumb"
I feel like, since you wouldn't say between this OR that, instead this AND that, that might be a change to make it flow better? You could also move the -- and make it:
"somewhere between happy and-- maybe just dumb"
Just some ideas, hope they're helpful!