Plunge

[Jezie]

Hi Jezie - I like the idea of the tension in the moment before action. Your poem runs on two layers at once, one real and one metaphorical,  which I like. My main problem here is with your punctuation and capital letters. You're not consistent with either.

She stands, all but bare. No period here - comma would carry the thought forward
Watching the ripples across the surface.  No capital letter on watching - otherwise you have an isolated fragment
A cool breeze caresses her back,
while the sun's warmth peeks over the fence.  Same - the period here makes the next lines a fragment. A comma
Reminding her of decisions gone by,               and no capital letter on reminding would fix this.
much like the one ahead of her.  Needed?

The plunge is icy, Will be / would be, as she hasn't yet made it
the burn of exhaustion runs rampant through her. again, will/would run
Yet, the cost may be worth the satisfaction received.
Can she take the plunge?

A few lines of blank space, to set the poem apart from your signature, would help too.

Thank you, that does look better. . I must confess I kept placing and removing "would be" but seemed a jumbled read to me.

---

She stands, all but bare.
Watching the ripples across the surface.  
A cool breeze caresses her back,
while the sun's warmth peeks over the fence.  
Reminding her of decisions gone by,
much like the one ahead of her.  

The plunge is icy,
the burn of exhaustion runs rampant through her.
Yet, the cost may be worth the satisfaction received.
Can she take the plunge?

Hi Jezie,
I like this poem very much... the daunting decision looming over the head of the protagonist... but the first two lines, I think, are a bit vague. Give more details--does she stand rigidly, or is she relaxed? Are the ripples on the surface which she's staring at ripples on water, ripples of a smile gracing someone's face, or something else entirely? I would insert "but" at the beginning of the second line of the second stanza, to better contradict the icy plunge and the burn of exhaustion. And second stanza, third line, "yet" doesn't add anything for me... it seems unnecessary.

Great poem

Thank pjs, "all but bare" is the description... But if it does not come across I may have to tinker a bit more and see what I can come up with.

Thanks for the feedback....