Plunge

[just mercedes]

Hi Jezie - I like the idea of the tension in the moment before action. Your poem runs on two layers at once, one real and one metaphorical,  which I like. My main problem here is with your punctuation and capital letters. You're not consistent with either.


She stands, all but bare. No period here - comma would carry the thought forward
Watching the ripples across the surface.  No capital letter on watching - otherwise you have an isolated fragment
A cool breeze caresses her back,
while the sun's warmth peeks over the fence.  Same - the period here makes the next lines a fragment. A comma
Reminding her of decisions gone by,               and no capital letter on reminding would fix this.
much like the one ahead of her.  Needed?

The plunge is icy, Will be / would be, as she hasn't yet made it
the burn of exhaustion runs rampant through her. again, will/would run
Yet, the cost may be worth the satisfaction received.
Can she take the plunge?

A few lines of blank space, to set the poem apart from your signature, would help too.