< between summer and night >

[billy]

i have no idea about the meter you say you used [i'm not yet past iambic] but the poem evokes.... the image is perfect for it, it draws the eye away and helps the chisel, and the heart slip a little. i also like the repeats used throughout the poem. we as critics often [always almost complain about them] here they show the exception to the rule; if done well they can add impact to a poem.