< between summer and night >

[ellajam]

I love reading this, it brings me there as I fully accept everything. But I still have a problem with the ending. I have been trying to figure out why, I think it might be the your and into or can.

                                                       i try
                                                       the chisel slips
                                                       red becomes the roses
                                                       as the chisel slips again
                                                       into my fingers
                                                       that only bleed
or


                                                       i try
                                                       the chisel slips
                                                       red becomes the roses
                                                       as the chisel slips again
                                                       my fingers
                                                       can only bleed

I think the second one. I know you have thought through every word, but somehow I just can't get your exact choices there.

Thanks for posting it, aside from that nit I continually enjoy it.