09-18-2015, 01:45 AM
(09-15-2015, 07:34 AM)H[a/o]llowheart Wrote: Did you hear? Freckled boy’s off earlyHi, welcome to the Pig Pen. While I enjoy the tone and pace of this piece I have been struggling for days to find something that would let me in on what seemed to be a pile of personal references. Today I googled Redwall. Is the poem something people who are familiar with the books would find more understandable, or is it me?
Heading northward, filling new faces with mirth
Back by the thaw with fresh zeal
Impressive, thought it doesn’t interest me
Smoke-braided girl grew! Inky cotton swirling skyward
Seasonal tempest, ebbing closer, farther, closer,
farther still, towards the celestial throne room
But hey, I could have beaten her there
Surely, mouse boy remembers our scavenging days
Dumpster side rendezvous were my favorite! Though
not Redwall troupe’s taste, neither his
That’s fine, I didn’t need him anyway
Who didn’t give the lazing lioness berth?
Bounding through caramel savannas, roaring at whim
She might relish in her pride
But I never feared her
I still envision the black ice man
One night, losing everything, frozen in childhood
Gliding from skyscrapers, guarding peace. I’m sure
I could remake his glossy-page dynasty
You could too, right? The invincible cheetah
who cheated death and outpaced it still
Neither churning waters stained red
nor splintered bone could slow your stride
Astonishing, breath-taking, but I have you beat:
You could never run from your problems half as fast as me
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

