09-14-2015, 12:32 PM
I quite love this poem.
Especially the forth stanza:
Its first two lines are worthy of an entire novel.
"Does it bother you
I can describe a bird sitting in a tree?
With you describing the sound
we can enjoy the bird in its entirety."
What I'm wondering, since the forth stanza is so powerful, why is the fifth necessary?
"The future may be dark and silent,
but we can still sit together.
You as blind, me as deaf,
We can still enjoy life's zest."
Everything it says has been said more beautifully in the first four.
It seems like an unnecessary summation.
(And, even though it fits the subjects of the poem, "dark and silent" is cliché.)
Hope that's of help.
ray
Especially the forth stanza:
Its first two lines are worthy of an entire novel.
"Does it bother you
I can describe a bird sitting in a tree?
With you describing the sound
we can enjoy the bird in its entirety."
What I'm wondering, since the forth stanza is so powerful, why is the fifth necessary?
"The future may be dark and silent,
but we can still sit together.
You as blind, me as deaf,
We can still enjoy life's zest."
Everything it says has been said more beautifully in the first four.
It seems like an unnecessary summation.
(And, even though it fits the subjects of the poem, "dark and silent" is cliché.)
Hope that's of help.
ray
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions