09-14-2015, 05:04 AM
I liked how the poem transitioned from hope and peacefulness in the first half to cynicism and disappointment in the second half, and the contrast between the divine (sun, almost a savior-like image) and and the human ("deep in worldly stupor"). It had a calm and thoughtful tone to it which was nice. One small thing I might have changed is referring to the darkness in the heart as "bright" and "glowing". I think that it would make more sense to describe it as more dull, murky or grimy to better contrast it with the brightness of the sun's light. Also, another nitpick is how you refer to the sun as leading "the soul to Divine Grace," but then talk about the "souls" of humans, in plural. If the sun was hoping to help all of humanity, it would be more consistent to use the plural for both. This is my first criticism on this site so I hope I'm of some help!