Thank you for the read of this. Grace
(09-12-2015, 07:30 AM)Qdeathstar Wrote: Sometimes when the leaves turn,
the air cools, the sun fades,
A summer's storm surrenders to misty drizzle. I would lose the 'A' here.
Sometimes I feel.
Three drinks in and feeling numb
somewhere between empty and simply dumb.
The radio emits more emotion than I can take; - Id switch round 'more emotion' to 'emotion more'
Sometimes tomorrow really is too long.
Sometimes you feel the urge to live buried deep below the urge to hide. - I like this. Possibly you could line-break after 'live' and then 'deep' . See what you think.
Some times.
