Entirety

[peacejazzspirit]

Thank you for your feedback. I noticed what you said about writing the word deaf. I am curious, why remove it?
I like your suggestions and will apply them...

Well in that line towards the beginning, you don't say blind, you say sight is fading, but later in the poem you have used deaf and blind so I thought by changing that line towards the beginning it would be more... parallel? Don't know if that's the correct term, but hope you understand what I mean...