Untitled: On Anxiety

[ellajam]

Hi, Spherical, lovely to read. I've put a few notes below for points you might want to tweak.

I started writing again only recently after many years lacking any will or inspiration to do so. I'm not terribly technically apt - I just like to put pen to paper. Rather, I suppose, in my case it's "finger to key" or something like that. I prefer to write playfully but meaningfully.

I like metaphor, pun and strong imagery. Please share your reactions to my poem, as well as any feedback or suggested edits. Thank you kindly for reading.



A worry grows
It goes and goes
It stacks in rows like dominoes
I'm not sure you need the first line, your title says it or it could be the title. I love the sound of the dominoes line but I think an image like It flows in rows or Lined up in rows would go better with the slither below.


It slithers, too - come-hithers you
Encapsulates you like a tomb
It swallows limbs
and finds its way into your chest and makes a nest
and burrows deep
and sleeps and grows and grows and sleeps
until it goes
Love all this, especially L2 and L4, my only nit is with "until". All the other ""goes" read to me as "goes on", I don't get a troublesome worry just getting up and walking away after it has made such a nice home.

It twists itself around your neck
and finds your ear
and settles there - another lair
until it grows, and then it goes
It goes and goes
Love the ear/lair.

I enjoyed the read, thanks for posting it.