3 am

[Magpie]

Hi ThePen, you've got some of the contents of a poem about insomnia that could work but not in the organised fashion that you've got here. Your need to write in rhyme adds a sing-song almost lullaby feel to the poem which is at odds with the subject. If you weren't too fussed about sticking to a metre then perhaps you could chop and change with line length to disrupt the flow and give a more edgy feel. Even the title seems almost kind of polite and neat, whereas if it was perhaps something like "03:37 and 51 seconds" or something along those lines???
The other thing I would add would be to trim some of the unnecessary words, there are a lot of lines that could be trimmed and still say the same thing. Possible example of trimming could be 

My thoughts are racing, my heart pacing heart
Wondering? still, what my life is becoming;
Outside, there is the malevolent darkness,

Inside, is the a stressed fragile mind under great stress.

The silence is clear, as sounds disappear,
Only the noises of machinery is all I hear s remain here.

That's just a possible example more than a suggestion.
You do have some of the contents of an alternative insomnia poem here, you just need to lay them out in an alternative way and it definitely could work

Cheers for the read,

Mark