Squint

[kakashi1090]

Hi Kakashi,
thanks for all complements (love to find my imagery has a positive effect) and your critique is very helpful
In the line "it relates", I really liked the brevity of it. It wrote and sounded to me like something one who "smolders casually" would say
To keep up the tone, do you think altering it to "we relate" would suffice to express that "I've been there" feeling"?... I think I like the sound of that, curious as to what you think about it...

I do, and I agree the concise line does well where it is. Maybe even "I relate" to give the character just a slight hint of vulnerability?

Ooooo, I dig that even more
Made the change, many thanks Kakashi

My pleasure! Thank you for letting me in on the revisions. That's where I believe the true art comes out of a piece. Let me know if I can help any more! I am following this one through it's revisions for sure.