Death's Gift (changed from Rich)

[Animal Riots Activist]

EDIT #1
riches aren't measured
shiny trinkets or
gold pieces
no – no – no -awesome! Immediately brings the poem into a conversational place and offsets the didactic-ness
those
are illusion

learning how to give life
to a fire,
sharing unconditionally
with another,
spending an afternoon
in the forest
with people and love, - this line and the previous two lines are a bit ineffective, mostly because I don't know how you can spend an afternoon with love. otherwise really solid stanza.
or teaching a child
how to read
the stars...

when life breathes
its last breath,
nothing, even riches
do we keep
in death. -This stanza borders on cliche for me.

ORIGINAL
Riches aren't always measured
in gold pieces
no, no, no,
those are simply shiny trinkets
to keep our attention fixed
on illusion.

My riches were gained when I learned
how to give life
to a fire,
or when I shared
unconditionally
with another,
or when I spent that afternoon in the forest
with the people I love,
or when I taught that child
how to read
the stars...

When it all comes to that point in life
when we all realize our mortality
for one last time
as we breathe our last moments
of breath,
these are the riches we keep in death.

Really solid piece, though definitely still some kinks to work out.