08-06-2015, 08:20 AM
Hi turtle. Nice edit!
This is just a thought, given that the subject matter of your poem is a common one. Sometimes taking a bitter honest approach to a topic like this can add a layer of complexity that is really intriguing (and a cool exercise to put in words!). What I mean is addressing the dilemma that while most consciously accept that no riches come with us past death and their value ends in the moment, most will still pursue them while sacrificing some other parts of ourselves. If that is something you can relate to, expressing that complexity in simple language can add a spice to your writing.
Again, this is just a general suggestion as you take on more topics. I apologize if that was vague.
This is just a thought, given that the subject matter of your poem is a common one. Sometimes taking a bitter honest approach to a topic like this can add a layer of complexity that is really intriguing (and a cool exercise to put in words!). What I mean is addressing the dilemma that while most consciously accept that no riches come with us past death and their value ends in the moment, most will still pursue them while sacrificing some other parts of ourselves. If that is something you can relate to, expressing that complexity in simple language can add a spice to your writing.
Again, this is just a general suggestion as you take on more topics. I apologize if that was vague.