Bridges (Refined #1)

[fluorescent.43]

Go over the edge
Or across the bridge
The other side remains a mystery
Until you take the first step massive cliché alert...

This masterpiece is special somehow
Where it leads may not exist
Terabithia? this sounds like a thought you had while writing and decided to stick it in.
Or somewhere stunningly real: A realization? A confrontation? Or the birth of a new beginning? why is this line so long?

A presence of those past lingers
Like how Sonny's music soaked into the supports
And stayed there
Something pulls you forward and you follow...

You take the first step, a cautious one
Bearing your weight carefully
The strongest things can give
Now walk across ending line has no impact.

this poem is really, really,

really vague. your title is semi-interesting (i'm a sucker for bridges), but this does nothing to give life to that title. i think that if you have a simple title, then your poem should really expand and grow outwards on it.

i usually don't write poems in second-person point of view, but perhaps others can pull it off. this is not one of those times, unfortunately. the punctuation isn't varied enough and gives me a floaty, unsupported read because there's so little of it. 'take the first step' is a bit cliché to me as is the rest of the poem. your thoughts are there but yet unformed... i say, take some time to rethink what you'd like to say with this, then edit, and you may have something good on your hands.

good luck if you intend to edit! hope i was some help (if i wasn't, do ignore me).

43.