Missing

[tectak]

It was a strange sensation,
lying upside-down on a grass bank,
looking at the sun to see flying saucers.
I remember a tear as they took you,
your face a back seat white spot.

I've watched the skies for your return,
my body has been snatched
but it still thinks and talks the same,
my skin is thin and easily peeled,
it would reveal a younger man than me.

Did you ever try to escape
or settle in some place with me erased,
an artist amongst the zebra
with too much water on your brush.

You will recognise me if you look,
I'm lying upside-down, staring at the sun
waiting for the same sensation.
My colours now are black and white,
the stripes remind me to forget.

WOW---so far, BEST one I've read yet...and I just started! I really like your words>>> 1. "An artist amongst the zebra/with too much water on your brush" 2. That you change the same metaphor into an analogy...Perfectly hooked....and "awed."

Hi allysum,
You are new here but you should read the posting rules. If they are not to your liking there are many other sites full of awesome wowsers where you may be amongst your peers. Please, for your own benefit, consider this message to be one of concern.Mod