England Welcomes Careful Drivers…for Keith
#2
Not sure if you wrote this or it was in an another exercise book, but I'll give it a go.  However, I think the actual reading or interaction with this old piece of writing may be what's really interesting here.  

(07-23-2015, 06:25 PM)tectak Wrote:  There is, in this fine land, a set of rules; -- Fine may be "padded." 
abided by by wise men, shunned by fools. 

But are you really sure which you are
when all you've  done is drive off in your car?  -- The disassociation that occurs in the bubble of a big metal vehicle is a cool topic. 
Have you touched that  yellow line?
Have you overstayed your time?
Have you gone at over thirty?
Are your main beam lights so dirty
that a policeman, feeling shirty, -- Not sure about "shirty," but I could be unfamiliar with the phrase.
states you car’s a tad deceiving
and a fine you’ll be receiving.
At the least you are illegal-
get yourself a legal beagle-
for a rule of law you’ve broken
lost your “Good Behaviour Token”;
are you really, really sure which you are?

I ask you, are you sure which you are
when you set off proud… but don’t get very far?
Did you shoot an amber light? -- This line is not bad.
Did you indicate a “right”
then impulsively turn left
and with sharp intake of breath -- This line is not bad, in my opinion.
see a cyclist steer round death
out the corner of your eye?
Did you feel you’d like to die
when his two-digit retribution
comments on your execution? -- This scenario is interesting. 
Of course, YOU never make mistakes
(when did I last check my brakes?)
Are you really, really sure which you are?

There is, in this fine land, a set of rules;
abided by by wise men, shunned by fools.
But to me it seems a shame
that the rules remain the same
and no leniency is given
when a million miles you’ve driven,
and to drive precisely striven.
What’s a lamp-post now and then
(caused by whiskies, nine or ten);
Or a dent in someone’s boot,
or a past eleven “toot”?
If these comments make you tut
you’ve a legal right to, BUT
are you really, really sure which you are?

tectak
1959 (transcribed from yellow and crumbling Exercise book, thought never to see the light of day again)
I think there are some cool lines here. I'm not sure about the rhyming, but it sometimes works (for me) when you use a bunch of feminine endings and then end a stanza on a stressed ending. However, I find the old crumbling exercise book to be intriguing apart from the poem. 
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RE: England Welcomes Careful Drivers…for Keith - by Brownlie - 07-25-2015, 06:05 AM



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