Untitled Insanity

[tectak]

First of all, Well done! This is a really great poem. However there are still some rooms for improvement.
* As this poem is about mental sanity, I think that you do not have to be strict about meter and rhymes, as it brings about monotony. I feel that the poem needs some sort of striking, awe-inspiring lines to subtly depict the psychological hysteria.
* By this I mean USING more end-stops, comma to create faster pace and more exclamation mark to convey that intense feeling
( shorter lines would be ideal)
But that's just my opinion, but great title and poem! Good job  

All is opinion but please, and it is your decision, avoid exclamation marks. If the words are  chosen to be exclamatory in their  intent by meaning, exclamation marks are  an insult to the perceptive reader. This is not to in any way diminish the value of the  critique...just to offer a "just saying" which I believe is modern parlance for "excuse my opinion". As a comment on the piece I find myself agreeing that "intensity" can  be increased  by shorter  lines, as long as you make each line count.
Best,
tectak