07-17-2015, 01:13 AM
DivineMsEmm,
If you are going to use the phrase the "bad-good boy", which I do not necessarily recommend, I would suggest writing it the "good, bad boy", not that conveys much either. I find the lineation disruptive and as this reads more as prose I see no point to it unless you are trying to show a trailing off, which is fairly juvenile.
No it could not have been "that we spoke of Robert Bly and Sharon Olds and how
I-am-going-to-spend-way-too-much-money-on-this-trip."
This has nothing to do with what precedes it.
Also with much of this poem, I have difficulty defining who is who.
Best,
Dale
If you are going to use the phrase the "bad-good boy", which I do not necessarily recommend, I would suggest writing it the "good, bad boy", not that conveys much either. I find the lineation disruptive and as this reads more as prose I see no point to it unless you are trying to show a trailing off, which is fairly juvenile.
No it could not have been "that we spoke of Robert Bly and Sharon Olds and how
I-am-going-to-spend-way-too-much-money-on-this-trip."
This has nothing to do with what precedes it.
Also with much of this poem, I have difficulty defining who is who.
Best,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.