The One I Never Slept With

[i.might.be.a.bit.sad]

The One I Never Slept With

The bad-good boy smelling of some sweet I think i get what you mean by "bad-good boy" but it is still sorta unclear...either decide on one or use a different phrase with more meaning.
cologne – a hint of vanilla and a tang
that hung in the air when you passed This first sentence-y thing is actually a fragment. Read it like prose and try to find a way to add in a verb
by. I close my eyes and I'm back
in the musty new bookstore"musty new" doesn't make sense to me...
where the clerk asked if you should
pay for my journals.
It could have been the way
we had matching conference totes or
tattoos on our arms or
that we spoke
of Robert Bly and
Sharon Olds and
how
I-am-going-to-spend-way-too-much-money-on-this-trip. Love this

It's not your writing I fell for.

Some sort of transition here would really help...get us into the mode of "Now i am with a different person" or at least away from the bookstore setting
What if he knows that
I still think of
your sweet smell
your firm arms,
that when I
am floating
above
myselfam floating above myself with him as one line would give the tail end more influence
with him
that I
justjust on previous line
lust
for
you

I like the premise...although it does seem a tad bit cliche to me. In the description of the bookstore-guy, add more stuff about why he is different, not just the tatted poetry lover that I see in indie movies everywhere. One place you could do this is to really expand on the "bad-good boy" phrase...if it wasn't hidden in all that other description it would add a lot to the poem. I like the last stanza, and i like the first part, but there needs to be more of a connection. Overall, great read. Thanks.