07-15-2015, 02:22 AM
kaijoy2,
The first two lines of each stanza (except the last) start a pattern, unfortunately this does not continue through the rest of the stanza.
There are many images used, I would say metaphors, but they are not connected to anything, thus making the overall ambiguity level quite high.
Nice use of imagination, but what does it mean. A lot of times it seems the writer is dropping in ad hoc descriptions of a surrealistic painting, "gusts of greens and groggy eyes".
I would not wish to see the imagination be curtailed, but to make the thought clearer in the editing process.
Welcome to the site,
Dale
The first two lines of each stanza (except the last) start a pattern, unfortunately this does not continue through the rest of the stanza.
There are many images used, I would say metaphors, but they are not connected to anything, thus making the overall ambiguity level quite high.
Nice use of imagination, but what does it mean. A lot of times it seems the writer is dropping in ad hoc descriptions of a surrealistic painting, "gusts of greens and groggy eyes".
I would not wish to see the imagination be curtailed, but to make the thought clearer in the editing process.
Welcome to the site,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.