First Poem

[i.might.be.a.bit.sad]

This is my first real poem and I'm here to learn, so please, tear this one up, as much as it deserves, so that I can do better.
Thank you, all.


I sit atop a tall lonely mountain. <--might remove tall here...not sure if it adds to the image much.
Cloudy mist, my only companion.
I look down on the people who live below.
I see every life end and begin. <--i dont love how this flows...not sure how to fix it though. I might chanfe the last line so it doesnt start with an "I"

I, too, was once a man.
Who once was lost along a winding trail.
I found peace in protecting and observing.
Despite Winters bite and storming hail. <--why is winters capitalized?

I found that I could stop disaster.
Send help to those whom needed. <--needed what? weird syntax.
Alone I must stay on top this tall mountain. But, my own woes, I always conceded.

My attention ever on those, whom I try to help. <-- unneeded comma
I didn’t notice myself turning slowly to stone.
The elements would try to beat me.
But, I would stay, forever and alone.

My will is strong, my heart is true.
I try to give my luck to all those below.
Though, it costs me in ways indescribable. <--unneeded comma
I make it up in more ways than one could know.

I am the Gentle Giant, who sits on the mountain.
I am the Gentleman Beast, who watches over all that I can.
I am the lonely Figure of Stone.
Whom all have forgotten was once a Man <--love this last part

Honestly i think this is a really good start. I think you should read it through as if it is prose and make sure you are getting in all the necessary words...some phrases are missing nouns/verbs. Could definitely pare down on the wordiness. Really find what you are trying to say, then show us instead of telling us. Overall, very good for a first try. Thanks for the read!