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Aviary Awakening
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07-04-2015, 07:09 PM
Just a couple of things from me! I might suggest to use "tornado threatens" instead of "tornado threatening." It's personal opinion, but it seems more in the present and a little less clunky. Also, a thesaurus may be of use here with "apex," I'm not sure what other synonyms come to mind that aren't technical or out of place. Maybe something like "summit" or "zenith"?
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| Messages In This Thread |
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Aviary Awakening - by Merrikay - 06-18-2015, 03:04 AM
RE: Avairy Awakening - by milo - 06-18-2015, 11:24 AM
RE: Avairy Awakening - by billy - 06-18-2015, 06:29 PM
RE: Avairy Awakening - by Todd - 06-18-2015, 11:21 PM
RE: Avairy Awakening - by Merrikay - 06-19-2015, 12:56 AM
RE: Aviary Awakening - by milo - 06-19-2015, 06:18 AM
RE: Avairy Awakening - by Todd - 06-19-2015, 01:22 AM
RE: Avairy Awakening - by Merrikay - 06-19-2015, 01:30 AM
RE: Aviary Awakening - by Merrikay - 06-19-2015, 07:17 AM
RE: Aviary Awakening - by Merrikay - 06-25-2015, 02:46 AM
RE: Aviary Awakening - by Todd - 06-25-2015, 04:17 AM
RE: Aviary Awakening - by Merrikay - 06-25-2015, 07:49 AM
RE: Aviary Awakening - by just mercedes - 06-26-2015, 07:51 AM
RE: Aviary Awakening - by Mark A Becker - 06-26-2015, 08:15 AM
RE: Aviary Awakening - by Merrikay - 06-27-2015, 01:31 AM
RE: Aviary Awakening - by alsayn - 07-04-2015, 07:09 PM
RE: Aviary Awakening - by Merrikay - 07-08-2015, 03:10 AM
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