07-04-2015, 06:04 PM
I, too, am new to the forum! This is the first poem I opened and it's great, Nyx! I'm a bit late to the game and Todd's said most of what I would have, but I'll reiterate!
You start off with a lovely metaphor and contrast between light and dark, and specifically used astronomy metaphors. I'm not sure if those were random choices, but if they relate to the topic/background of the poem you should extend the metaphor throughout the poem. It might give you some more imagery to work with, because your title allows for broad interpretation. It might also allow for some other adjectives to use.
There's also a bit of disconnect between the first two stanzas that seems a bit insecure and lonely and the last two that are very assertive and badass.
Coming back after a hiatus is difficult, best of luck!
You start off with a lovely metaphor and contrast between light and dark, and specifically used astronomy metaphors. I'm not sure if those were random choices, but if they relate to the topic/background of the poem you should extend the metaphor throughout the poem. It might give you some more imagery to work with, because your title allows for broad interpretation. It might also allow for some other adjectives to use.
There's also a bit of disconnect between the first two stanzas that seems a bit insecure and lonely and the last two that are very assertive and badass.
Coming back after a hiatus is difficult, best of luck!