Look Where She Points

[QDeathstar]

Hi there, thanks for the feedback, sorry for the delay in responding.
Is the first line the problem, or the whole stanza?
Thanks!
--Emily

It is the first stanza...

this is such a great poem after the first stana. I'll admit I read the first stanza, rolled my eyes a bit, noticed the lack of punctuation, and got ready to press the reply button.  But then, I noticed the I don't mind being repeated, and so I had to know why.  

I read the whole thing and was drawn into it without the burden of the first stanza. I think maybe the first goes on for a bit too long, or feels long, with the line breakers and -- ... I also think that starting off with "A real woman as lived--" comes off a bit accusational... what women aren't real women?

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It was the first stanza