22-06-15

[rayheinrich]

Yes, good poem, especially it's multiplicity.
Leave out the "-" altogether; the pivot point doesn't come at the end of either
the first or the second line, this haiku's pivot is the whole second line.

Thanks Ray, that makes sense about the pivot being the second line, I struggle sometimes with the "-" and where it needs to go or even if it is needed. The idea of a 'pivot' makes it a little easier to comprehend, don't think I've heard it called that before.

Haiku pivots usually come at the end of the first or second line, but haiku can
pivot on a word or a second line as well.

famous second line pivot example:

snow falls
on the temple roof
a cat's footprints

not as famous an example:

herons flying
through the mist
a full moon


I LOVE line pivots!  
Ray