Time's Dance
#8
(06-19-2015, 01:03 PM)ambrosial revelation Wrote:  
(06-16-2015, 05:08 PM)Rederex Wrote:  Past, present, future.
Our lives, an eternal dance,
and time's the prima.
Hi Rederex,
Out of all the subjects to write a poem about people usually say that 'love' is the hardest because it's been covered so much by great and not so great poets which makes it hard to write about without stumbling into cliches. I would put 'time' up there with 'love' for exactly the same reasons. Many a poet has wrote about 'Time', (usually with the capital 'T') and eternity, flick through any book of poems by Whitman, Blake or Shakespeare and it will come up a number of times. I can't think of an actual poem at this moment that uses the 'time as a dance' analogy, but I would think that it has been used before and therefore will be seen as cliche.
A question I have regarding your poem is about the last phrase 'time's the prima', as I'm not 100% sure what you mean by prima. In reality it would translate from Italian as 'first' and from that it could be seen as 'the most important' or 'the original', but then why would you use the Italian as it just seems to complicate things. Or are you using it as a shortened form of 'prima donna' to indicate a 'star' or 'diva', although I'm not sure if it can be shortened in this sense. However the other use of 'prima donna' is informal and means a temperamental person. Now, 'time' as a 'prima donna' using the play on both meanings is a definite possibility that could be original and without cliche and that's the kind of concept that I can go with Thumbsup
Sorry if I've said wayyyy too much, but they were my actual thoughts after reading, I just can't help it sometimes most times ever. Smile
Mark
Dear Mark,
You are right, time is a topic commonly explored. In regards to the last line, I have used prima within the context of a dance. Because of this prima is used as 'prima ballerina' (the prime dancer),in that time is the most important 'dancer'. We, our lives, may dance...but ultimately that which is superior is time itself.
Perhaps I should look into writing a larger poem, something that would alow me to explore each nuance of my thought regarding time. Any how, thanks a lot. Smile

Red
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Messages In This Thread
Time's Dance - by Rederex - 06-16-2015, 05:08 PM
RE: Time's Dance - by Merrikay - 06-16-2015, 06:46 PM
RE: Time's Dance - by Rederex - 06-16-2015, 07:02 PM
RE: Time's Dance - by Merrikay - 06-16-2015, 07:17 PM
RE: Time's Dance - by Rederex - 06-16-2015, 07:50 PM
RE: Time's Dance - by ellajam - 06-16-2015, 08:59 PM
RE: Time's Dance - by Magpie - 06-19-2015, 01:03 PM
RE: Time's Dance - by Rederex - 06-21-2015, 01:04 AM
RE: Time's Dance - by Mark A Becker - 06-24-2015, 09:13 AM
RE: Time's Dance - by milo - 06-24-2015, 09:45 AM



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