Soldier Down.

[Magpie]

Poppoetry,

There are some good elements to this, some of the images work well and the short lines help to move it along at a decent pace. There are some cliches in there such as 'God willing' and 'he holds his nerve', if you could think of alternative ways of expressing the same thing it would help the poem a lot. There is even an argument to say that the title is cliche, perhaps a rethink. 

Also be careful of using !!!! Exclamation marks!!! and ellipsis... without a really good reason as these can also be seen as cliche, a couple of ellipsis have a gone a dot too far.

The other thing that puzzled me was that halfway through the 4th stanza you seemed to abandon capitalising the beginning of sentences for some reason, perhaps the shift key took a stray bullet 

There's some good potential here.

Thanks for the read,

Mark