06-11-2015, 01:27 PM
well, as for the poem I think it is making an obtuse vague point about how gender rules are changing. The psychiatric room is a metaphore for the speakers opinion on those changing roles....
without knowing what you are saying in this poem it's difficult to critique.... it would be like trying to critique a poem written in French (I don't speak French)... so I will offer an opinion on the interpretation. If I am way off, you can consider my critique to be that your points need to made clearer.
At the window
Five stories depression view
A woman watched, mingle in freedom
Sipping evening tea, in ill wisdom
-Where is outside?
the five stories aren't stores of a building, they are stories on a news network, the evening news. it was all bad news.
The view is small
Entirety sealed off by walls.
On the screen, patches of debts
And life flavored by smiles
In owl’s cry
the author is critiquing the media here. The mass media provides a small view of the world sealed off by commercial and corporate walls. On the screen, the patchs of debts are commercials, and life flavored my smiles in owls cry is the nationalism displayed by the media and the romantism of the military.
One day women sung behind someone’s son,
Their men carried the banner.
Another day women matched,
Their hands held the banner
That day men watched.
Children confined in uniforms
the first two lines talk about times past, where women were followers and men were leaders... the second lines refer to the changing gender roles. Women have matched the men in holding the banner. Now men sit back and watch the women take control. The children confined in uniforms speakers to how gender neutral society has become
It’s a small view- she said,
But the sequence of this queue, I know.
Normalcy put off, malice break like a wave
Smashing the walls beneath
Calm deep sea, an epicenter beneath.
Calm waters, and a wave rode all along.
It’s a small view
A reflection of a psychiatric room.
~our society has become crazy...
... I guess.
without knowing what you are saying in this poem it's difficult to critique.... it would be like trying to critique a poem written in French (I don't speak French)... so I will offer an opinion on the interpretation. If I am way off, you can consider my critique to be that your points need to made clearer.
At the window
Five stories depression view
A woman watched, mingle in freedom
Sipping evening tea, in ill wisdom
-Where is outside?
the five stories aren't stores of a building, they are stories on a news network, the evening news. it was all bad news.
The view is small
Entirety sealed off by walls.
On the screen, patches of debts
And life flavored by smiles
In owl’s cry
the author is critiquing the media here. The mass media provides a small view of the world sealed off by commercial and corporate walls. On the screen, the patchs of debts are commercials, and life flavored my smiles in owls cry is the nationalism displayed by the media and the romantism of the military.
One day women sung behind someone’s son,
Their men carried the banner.
Another day women matched,
Their hands held the banner
That day men watched.
Children confined in uniforms
the first two lines talk about times past, where women were followers and men were leaders... the second lines refer to the changing gender roles. Women have matched the men in holding the banner. Now men sit back and watch the women take control. The children confined in uniforms speakers to how gender neutral society has become
It’s a small view- she said,
But the sequence of this queue, I know.
Normalcy put off, malice break like a wave
Smashing the walls beneath
Calm deep sea, an epicenter beneath.
Calm waters, and a wave rode all along.
It’s a small view
A reflection of a psychiatric room.
~our society has become crazy...
... I guess.