The Passionate Man

[poppoetry]

A great poem, the sense of loss is very powerful in the words, may I suggest the following changes, the title maybe A ONCE PASSIONATE MAN., other changes are just suggestions and would be more my style than yours so doesn't necessarily make it better just a different slant.

thanks

poppoetry

A once Passionate Man*
 
How cruel it is to render[s][/s]
a once passionate man nowimpotent,
so that all he does is sits in his room
staring with dulled eyes.
 
Having lived life like a god,
only to have the god desert him;
the energy that once coursed through his body
is now the heaviness of lead instead.
He would weep in self-pity
except he knows the truth of it.
Pity the once passionate man,
for he was blessed and now has fallen.
Hell in life is no different from hell in death,
except in life you are still expected to act…
I'm just fine.
 
Erthona
 
©2015
 
 
Note bene:
 
*I use man in the generic sense so that it represents both genders. It has been my experience that woman can be just as passionate and just as foolish as men.