Never Have I Ever

[Grace]

                I didn't get offered
                smokes. I guess people assumed
                that I would                          
                                                  

   never                                                                                             

                 hurt my body in that way.
                 We got drunk and almost
                 fell off the bed.
                 We did other stuff too,
                 things I liked because I didn't    
                                                    

  have                                                                                                  

                to think. A month later,
                I was still making up work
                from that week I missed. I
                "had the flu". I was "fine"              
                                                 

     I...                                                                                         

                               

                lied. We smoked during
                fourth hour, in that alley
                behind school. I never thought
                I would want to remember...    
                                                 

   

 Oops.                                                                                 

Hi, I think the way you've structured this works.  It has  a sneaky-smoke-in-that-alley (who?me??) feel about it. When I first read have between stanzas 2 and 3, I wasn't sure why you'd isolated that word. Then I realised the words to the left are from the title, and there's a difference between thinking and having to think.  I'm also thinking what I'm writing may not be making much sense (!!), so I hope others will  come along and say something more helpful.
Loved reading this aloud :-) G.