06-04-2015, 10:12 PM
Hi,
I am sorta new at this but apart from the event being described, one thing that really struck me was the repeated use of 'and'. I know its use is necessary and all since it is a conjunction however it could have been substituted and in places removed.
I hope I am not being too out there by saying this. It's just my opinion
All the best!
I am sorta new at this but apart from the event being described, one thing that really struck me was the repeated use of 'and'. I know its use is necessary and all since it is a conjunction however it could have been substituted and in places removed.
I hope I am not being too out there by saying this. It's just my opinion
All the best!