Silence

[reppindetroit]

Simplicity is sometimes best--in this case you nailed it on the head. I wouldn't change a thing about it. I do agree with bena, however. Perhaps you should ditch the dash and separate the last line into two separate sentences. Add some impact for the very last line, which I think is my favorite in this little work of art. However, I can see why you would keep the dash too, for it has some effect in that sense as well. It's your choice!

Excellent job!